Suffering is a part of the human experience. We all suffer in this life. Everyone experiences it in different ways and in varying levels, some worse than others, but we all suffer pain. Every one of us. Our natural tendency is to pull back from this pain. Having the belief that ‘If I ignore the suffering, it will go away’. When we do this, we are in denial. Instead, experience the pain and suffering. It will come, that is assured. It is there, experience it for what it is. Be aware of how that makes you feel, awareness of it in the present moment. In that awareness, let go of the story that is attached to the ’cause’ of the pain. Attachment only brings more pain. Holding on to the story is suffering.
Letting go of a past experience that caused the pain to begin with can be very difficult. Our mind and our ego do not want to let it go, we think we derive comfort from holding on to the memories of our past, whether they are good memories or bad ones. All that attachment does is produce more suffering. Speaking from experience, having first lost my infant daughter, then most recently, my wife; it has been my experience that in the memories of her and the feelings that dredges up only causes more pain and suffering. What could ‘I’ have done to change the outcome? ‘What if I did this.’ or ‘What if I did that differently or had the chance to tell her this or that before she died?’ We ask all these questions and torture ourselves, because we want to be in control of the narrative of the story of our lives. Personally, I am learning that we don’t have control of outside events. They happen TO us, but the events in our lives are NOT us. We are not the events. At the core of our Being, although we suffer, we are not the suffering. It is just one more experience in this life. So then, how do we navigate the pain and the suffering?
There is grace in suffering. As we learn to sit quietly in the silence of the moment, we feel how the suffering is affecting us. How does it make you feel? Not too good, right? That is okay. Just sit with it, experiencing it for what it is. There is no right or wrong in how you are feeling, the feeling just is. Instead of resisting the pain, become aware of it. Resistance only produces more pain and it compounds itself. Instead of resisting, let it move through you. Allow the experience for what it is, then you can let it go when you begin to realize that the pain and suffering you are experiencing isn’t You. This is the grace that is the healing power of Being in the moment.
You are the Awareness that is experiencing the suffering, but not the suffering itself. It is not you. Letting go of it isn’t something we do easily, but we learn to let go. It is a process. It will come and go. That is okay, when it comes back, let it be for the moment it is there. Become fully aware of it in that present moment, then realize it isn’t You. Allow the You in that moment to just Be. Practice Being in each moment as that is all there is. Just Be. You are the present moment. You Are THAT.